Homecare: How To Talk To Your Parent’s Doctor
Talking to your parent’s doctor can be a nervewracking time for anyone. There is just something about it that feels unnatural. Even so, as our parents age, it becomes crucial that you know just how to communicate with medical professionals. The conversations that you have will directly impact how your parent feels, his or her quality of life, and even how long he or she lives.
Doctors, nurses, home care providers, and even receptionists know how difficult it is to take care of your parent. They’ve either been through this before, they know someone who has been through it, or they have had other patients go through the same thing. They aren’t judging you. Once you get over that mental hurdle, the rest becomes just a little bit easier. Even so, there are some other things you can do to make the conversation with a doctor that much easier:
Get As Much Information As You Can
Before you even step into a conversation with a doctor or medical professional, it is important to get as much information about your parent’s medical condition or state as possible. This could be as simple as getting a list of the medications that he or she takes (including vitamins and supplements) or going further and getting medical records from previous doctors. The more you know and can communicate, the better you will feel.
As children, we don’t always know what our parents are going through. Maybe your mother has an allergy to latex that you never learned about or your dad had a disconcerting colonoscopy a few years ago that he never mentioned.
If you have a home care professional helping you with taking care of your parents, you may want to talk to that person as well. You may not notice that your mom is a bit confused when she wakes up from a nap, but that person does. Go even deeper – ask that person to record anything strange that they see so that you always know when something comes up you need to address with a doctor.
Always Be Honest About Home Care
For some reason, many people want to hide the fact that they have a nurse come in to help care for a parent. Or maybe you don’t want people to know that you hire someone to sit with your mom on Saturday nights so that you can have some time alone. These aren’t things to be ashamed of – but you should be honest about them.
On the surface, it gives your doctor the chance to ask questions about homecare and even provide tips about what that person could do – more is expected of a home care professional compared to a child taking care of a parent. It is a completely different language and discussion.
Acknowledge When You Don’t Know Something
We lead busy lives and it is common to not know the answer to something. Did your mother have a c-section when she had your younger brother? Did your dad get his flu shot? It is better to say that you do not know something than saying something is true or isn’t true and be wrong. This is how mistakes happen.
If you don’t know the answer to a question, say so. You may be able to give some details that will help the doctor get a better idea of what the answer could be.
Ask Questions
Do not be afraid to ask questions – for yourself or for your parent. Too often, we try to hide things from medical professionals in hopes that they will just go away. If something is bothering your parent or you are worried about something, ask the question. Doctors would prefer you ask it than have to find out a few months later when the problem gets worse.
It doesn’t just have to be questions about physical health. Doctors can provide you with resources to help take care of your parent. From local organizations that can deliver meals to daycares or home care professionals.
Helping a parent or both parents get medical help or just go to the doctor on a routine basis is much harder than anyone thinks it will be. Know that most medical professionals are on your side and know everything you are facing. Whether you are taking care of your parent full time or just stepping in on a case-by-case basis, enhancing your communications skills is a fantastic place to start if you want to make an impact.